Nothing to Fear but Fear Itself iampeacemaker, July 25, 2023January 5, 2024 Addictions and spirituality. Fighting addictions. Conquering addictions. Know this. You are always worthy of Love. Love in truth is Spirit, sent with a thought from the heart, and spans worlds. Let me lend you my strength, especially if you believe you have no one else. Having faith in spiritual powers makes this possible, even if we’ve never met. Just read my story, and take comfort in knowing you are not alone. There are others like me as well who dedicate their suffering to understanding themselves and helping others recover. I didn’t have schizophrenia until I was 23, although it was an important part of my path, without which I wouldn’t have gained a lot of inner sight, and insight into things Spiritual. Getting married at 23, my husband and I smoked a lot of marijuana between our shifts at our full-time jobs. A month later I had my first experiences with psychosis. Thank God my schizophrenic symptoms were immediately recognized by my parents who had both been psychiatric nurses in previous jobs, they got me to a psychiatrist quickly. Quick treatment is important for a successful recovery. But this was a sudden, painful turning point for my young marriage, especially since a week later we learned that I was 2 weeks pregnant. We were fighting strong negative side effects of the new week-old medication regimen; with the close supervision of the doctor, I went off the meds and had a healthy pregnancy. Nearing the end of the pregnancy and after I went through a lot of strange, spiritual experiences. A week following childbirth I was committed to the mental hospital, taken away from my newborn baby for 2 months of treatment. During this time my husband was under too much stress to take care of our baby, so he moved in with my parents for help. He was not a good support for me during this time, feeling embarrassed that he had a ‘mental’ wife. Also, the new meds caused rapid weight gain. I’m still on those same meds today, 20 years later. At that time, I was being persecuted by evil, taunting voices, I learned from my sister-in-law how to plead the Blood of Christ. This was the first time in my lifetime that I heard His voice. The demons fled when I prayed to Yeshua. I heard him enter the scene, they were amazed that he actually came to defend me. Then they left me alone. It was very relieving. Within the year, however, our son was removed from our custody. Within 2 years we were separated, then a few years later, divorced. The neuronal damage that caused my schizophrenia took many years to heal. I spent about 10 years living alone, sometimes in complete isolation, broke financially because I could not hold a job, and at times, so desperate for human contact that I spent time with neighbors, picking up new addictions like smoking, drinking, and drugs. During this time I got some counseling from a Catholic nun, referred to me by a classmate. She heard God’s voice who told her, “This is my dear daughter Elaine, whom I truly love.” I was still being tormented by Lucifer who told me awful things like, “Elaine, you are worthless. Elaine, you are stupid and will not amount to anything. Elaine, you are ugly and no one could ever love you. Elaine…” it carried on. This time I once again plead the Blood of Christ and rebuked Satan in Yeshua’s name. Then I heard God’s voice, whose voice I now recognize as Jehovah’s, “LEAVE ELAINE ALONE. SHE DOESN’T’ NEED THIS.” Lucifer’s taunting stopped. Then, interestingly, the two voices then trailed off, bullshitting each other as if they were old friends. Over the next 15 years, I’d been through 2 long-term relationships and lots of time alone in between. I spent a lot of time reading and healing. I’d gotten off drugs and smoking. I actually became pretty stable. In 2017, I started working again but still struggled with severe anxiety and a lack of ability to handle the stress of a regular job. I started smoking again, drinking every day, and crack cocaine for the first time. I became lost and depressed, unemployed, and addicted. Yet I kept hearing Jehovah’s voice. Many, many, times over the years, he has proven Himself to me, that he exists. Over the last 3 years, however, there was a drastic change. I became a target of a couple of evil voices that didn’t respect me, nor did they respect God or Yeshua’s name. I felt like I was being recorded at all times, I could hear MANY voices, saying they were watching me from a dream reality. They could see me in some sort of Facebook group, so they’d say. They taunted me at all times, I could hear an audience while I was on the toilet. In the bathtub. Washing my dishes. Preparing food. Going for walks. Getting undressed for bed. Sometimes these comments I’d hear were very lude, equal to sexual assault even, but no one was there. I had no escape, ever. In January of 2023 however, there was a change. With the “help” of a witch from Oregon, over the phone, we performed some sort of cleansing ceremony. Weirdly, I was instantly cured of my coke addiction, but then the attacks took on a strong demonic turn. Hateful, belligerent. Unholy creatures, angelic creatures, regular ghosts, and more than one God. Even though I’d quit coke, alcohol, cigarettes, and painkillers, it was clear to me I needed professional help if I was going to live. It’s HARD to find a psychiatrist when you need one. I was under attack… these demonic voices were threatening my life every day all day, telling me they were going to blow up my apartment building, shoot out my windows, break in to poison my apartment, or just break in and stab the fuck out of me. Every day, all day, I was hearing this. It was terrifying, terrorizing. Faithfully, I kept talking with Yeshua, Jehovah, the Holy Spirit, the Father God, and Yahweh now too, who I found out is the God of the people of Israel, the God of the Bible. These are not all the same God, though they at times took turns and supported each other. I learned each of their voices. They spoke with me with regularity, warmth, comforting, encouraging, helping me through this hard time. After several months, finally, in May I was able to get myself back into the mental health center for the proper medical I sorely needed. My doctor told me schizophrenia patients often never stop hearing voices for the rest of their lives, but they can be quieted, and or controlled. None of the threats I heard have ever come to pass, the threatening voices’ most powerful weapon is FEAR. I’ve learned that the only thing to fear is fear itself. Fear is a reaction that one can control, not only with medications but also with positive beliefs and knowledge. Becoming fearless, and a force for encouraging others, I decided to start this blog, and my online business, located at www.iampeacemaker.art. To spread the knowledge I’ve learned and to help others. I’m open to answering questions. Please don’t hesitate to comment, my aim is to answer all serious questions and publish them unless you ask to keep your comment and my response unpublished. To leave comments or questions scroll below the related posts. Thanks for reading, Elaine Psalm 118:6 – The Lord is with me; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me? Download, read, and share, my free ebook called, “Praying in the Morning Lamb“ If you wouldn’t follow yourself, why would anyone else follow you? Be the example you need. “Peace Maker” is my Indigenous Spirit name, my other Spirit name is Elainia, which means, “Land of Light”. I am a Canadian, a friend of God, an empathic woman with a timeless soul, driven to create more peaceful lives for those I meet through patience and understanding. It feels really good to say, “I AM Peace Making”. I encourage you to claim that. Positive affirmations are good for the soul. Then together we have the faith to move mountains! Share on FacebookTweetFollow us Peace Making Fearfearlesshow to live with schizophreniaschizophreniavoices
Peace Making How to Feel Better About Your Body September 2, 2023September 3, 2023 I’ve learned a lot in my life about how to feel better about myself. I… Read More
Peace Making The Fall of Rome and Rise of Canada. July 2, 2023September 6, 2023 I am saddened but understand why many Indigenous people in Canada stand up for themselves… Read More
Peace Making When Addictions Get Unmanageable July 29, 2023August 9, 2023 HOPE = Hold On Pain Ends. Be patient with yourself and those you love, forgive… Read More